Raising Warrior Children: Developing the Next Generation of Policy Advocates

If you want to change anything in the world, you have to start with your family. Key to that dictum is the reflection of the thoughts, ideas, and influences of you and your spouse on your children. My wife, Tosha and I have six children, five boys and one girl and with each child we have made it our business to be intentional and engaged in their life so they could be equipped for their purpose. In raising warrior children—developing next gen policy advocates—I posit the concept of truth and transparency regarding what you are about as it relates to conveying your ideals and ideologies to them.

I’ve found one thing children really don’t appreciate is the obfuscation of the facts when they themselves have to live with the decisions you and your spouse make. So, it is always better to be up front with them.

Let your children know up front, “Hey, I’m going to be out of town for your birthday, but we will celebrate some more when I get back,” and then, when you get back, make sure you celebrate. This simple act builds trust. Fast forward five or ten years, and you have a child who will support you when the going gets tough, or when you need some extra help on a project or public event. Children can be a great asset if they believe in you and what you’re trying to accomplish. Conversely, they can really hinder your efforts if they see you taking a position on a point that is contrary to what you’ve always believed, or if you are not practicing what you preach.

At a certain age, their critical reasoning skills really kick in, and at that juncture, you will either pass the test or fail the test. It is the preliminary work—the previous decade—that codifies your success or failure when their critical thoughts and assessments come calling. I would say that engaging your children in conversation regularly will help you determine where they are, understanding that advocacy and interests change and morph as they get into their teens and early twenties. Consequently, you may or may not have that little helper that you had when they could see no wrong in, or question, what you were advocating for just five years earlier.

Why? Sometimes—many times—they are looking at the world through the lenses or filters of only their perspective, which is being changed or challenged. The beauty of this phase is that if you have taught them right, when they get through that phase there is a strong possibility their viewpoint will square with yours, or possibly be more critical than yours, and sometimes the total opposite of yours.

For the purpose of this writing, I am going to focus on the ‘will square with’ group of kids because it’s the simplest to explain and happiest to articulate. Basically, the ones who follow your ethical path.

Being a policy influencer and defense strategist who wanted to make the world a safer place for my children, my wife and I put our two oldest sons in policy camps and business camps. We wanted them to understand how to present their point of view before people as well as how to write those points on paper—thus delivering a well-crafted argument in both written form and verbally.

OXFORD, ENGLAND

In the summer of 2018, with the full support of the community, my wife and I sent our two oldest high-school boys to Oxford, England. They both attended and received credit for programs in international law and international business, respectively. The net result of this training helped propel them to understanding the world on a macro level, something every future policy maker or influencer (warrior child) needs to grasp where their personal ethos (ideas and understanding) intersects and interacts with real-world people, concepts, and points-of-view.

Raising warrior children—children who believe and fight for their views and ideas in policy or culture—is not an easy endeavor. It requires a strong commitment from both parents, personally, and over a sustained and in some cases counter-cultural capacity, with the fruit of your efforts being world-changing children.

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND

Nevertheless, after the boys finished their stint at Oxford, they traveled to Geneva, Switzerland, where they were observers at the United Nations Convention on Certain Conventional Weapons focusing on Lethal Autonomous Weapons Systems (LAWS). They were given passes for the week to observe the deliberations as well as meet and interact with the delegates. I am thoroughly appreciative to Ambassador Amandeep Singh Gill of India, who was the Chair that year, for facilitating my young men’s real-world training session.

(Side-note: you will always need people to buy into your vision if you desire to see your vision fulfilled.)